Friday, January 25, 2008

thank you for the feed back so far!

due to popular demand, I shall post a little more to whet the appetites of my readers
with this new post, enjoy!

The Constantine Brothers

chapter is a little further down the road in the book, basically this is not to far after the beginning, oh yeah, I also included a list of characters, and yes, it does not really make sense because I simply cut a part of the book out, but its okay because I have something special to post after this :)

Dramatis Personae.

James Constantine

A slim, tall but well built man of 22, known for his prodigious skill as a mechanic and strategist he is also the driver for the small group of “ghost busters”.

He owns a highly modified black car which is known simply as the Wraith (James privately calls it after his girlfriend, Emma) and is one of the most highly coveted pieces of equipment they have at their disposal. (Once belonging to his grandfather, Arthur James Constantine)

Unfortunately, due to a curse that had been uttered by and while he was chasing a demon, he now from time to time goes blind, sometimes gradually, sometimes instantly.

He is much loved as a fellow teammate, but as of his disability he is privately amongst the others considered a liability. A fast one, but a liability nonetheless.

John Constantine

Slightly taller then his brother, stockier too, is the companies leader and brains for a lot of the missions, also a genius strategist and somewhat emotionally detached from missions renders him isolated from more intimate discussion. (this is because he thinks that if some one ends up beyond saving, he’ll have a better time moving on.)

Hal Grande

Weapons specialist and producer, an expert in metallurgy he can make just about anything given enough time and as long as its made of metal, also on top of that, he knows practically every weapon made by man, be it; make; model; or just a piece of metallurgy in general (he can tell how much time, tools, and skill was used in making a particular weapon), he is an odd character with a knack of sleeping with a

Glock .34mm under his pillow and a magazine of silver bullets for those all too common incidents with demons, who have tried to sneak up on him. (for some strange reason, he is the biggest demon magnet in the entire group, and is famously quoted in saying

“dammit, I always get the biggest mother f**kers available!”)


Damon Rod Kil

A small but by no means slight guy, also a very knowledgeable person, whenever they have a demon to track down or research Rod is the man for the job, he is also their programmer / builder when it comes to high tech gadgetry which has saved many seemingly hopeless demon chases.

Weapons, demons, curses, seals, or generally any thing spirit related can be found by him, be it on even the most secure database or the most obscure library, he will find it.

If he can’t find it, then it probably never existed, or the records have been destroyed. (if the latter, he would know the very least that it existed, but it was ruined, destroyed, etc.)

...They all woke up simultaneously as they reached base, when they got out of the car and stretched their legs they made a stampede for the fridge, only to find there was no food whatsoever.

‘Alrighty, we’ve a situation here where we are gonna starve to death if we don’t have somthin’ on the double, so am going to go to tha corner shop and see what they got,

Eh? James had somehow managed to say this with one breath and was already heading out the door by the time the words sunk in.

‘Ramen noodles! Don’t forget the ramen noodles!’

‘Don’t worry I’m gonna go on a food shopping spree, so dontcha worry boys.’

And with that the door closed, now the other guys had about 30 minutes the kill, when Damon said looking at the car that had been left behind, clicking as the oil in the engine settled;

‘Guys, have you ever wondered what that great, big, black, ugly brute of a car is?

Hey, Hal, what do you think?’

‘That ain’t no car I’ve ever seen, body looks like custom, I can tell that give or take

50 or 60 % of it was hand done, by the same person too. John, what do you say?’

‘My knowledge may be encyclopedic but it does not really extend much into the auto motive realm.’

‘I don’t know why I didn’t do this before,’ Damon said slapping his forehead, ‘I’ll see what I can dig up.’

Sure enough after ten minutes of checking various databases and then theirs,

He found it;

‘Hot damn, I’m onto something guys, check it out .’

‘Right, I’ve barely been able to get this much info but here goes nothing…

‘The automotive myth goes like this, and believe it or not, almost nobody, not even Jay Leno knows this, listen;

“Wraith was the brainchild that Mathias Delran Crockenburg had when he was growing up in Detroit in the 60’s, however it wasn’t until 1974 that he had a chance to take on Detroit, but as time when on he decided to make this a small privately owned car business that dealt with hand made vehicles, he started making countless drawings of his dream, rumor has it that he locked himself from view for weeks at a time refusing help from anybody, soon shipments of steel started showing up from Europe, a little after that people began to think he was possessed, when he flung open the doors of his barn turned studio and yelled at the top of his voice “she lives!”, the car was fast, reliable, and highly durable, when people saw his creation, and in 1975 he got an offer to build 100 of these amazing machines, to this day nobody knows where the money came from or even who was the benefactor, sure enough, he started building and selling when strange accidents started to happen, people who bought a car became extremely good drivers, their reflexes became better then even race car driver’s, but shortly after this amazing discovery, the owners started to commit suicide, one of the few horrendous stories was that one owner died of carbon monoxide poisoning, a few drove off of cliffs or bridges to name but a few, when the government heard about this they came down and destroyed every last remaining car, well not all of them, 50 had been sold, 50 of them were recovered after these dreadful accidents, but the government actually couldn’t recover even one because 49 still unpurchessed ones were destroyed beyond recognition, which led to the question, where did the last one go? The last car had been built on October Friday 13th 1976,

Mathias sadly, would not and could not confirm anything, he’d ended his life that same day leaving behind nothing but a letter bearing the words “The driver does not learn from the car, the car, teaches the driver.”

The cars specs are unknown, the only thing people could find in the laboratory was a sheet of paper with his final words and another saying the engine was a high compression

Gasoline engine with the capability of running on diesel.’

‘That’s kinda scary, knowing that bit about people dying, I’m not sure I want to ride in that thing anymore.’

Hal said looking at the car as if it would bite him,

‘Don’t be ridiculous, nothing has happened yet, and probably won’t for a long time to come.’

‘Hang on a sec, lets take a look underneath and see what we got.’

He walked over to the car tugged on a door handle, the door opened; he got inside and started to examine the trim pieces one by one before saying;

‘whoo-hoo, I can see why James likes this machine; the view from the drivers seat is awesome! Now lets take a peek underneath this girl,’

He popped the hood and lifted the bonnet to reveal an engine so beautifully sculpted, that if it had been a painting, it would’ve been the mona lisa itself,

‘Guys! Get a load of this!,’

The other guys walked over and looked and simply stared at what the engine bay housed,

‘Months went into planning this thing out, and about a week of careful assembly by hand,

Let me tell you some thing else, when I was behind the wheel of the car I felt really confidant, any way, the powerplant you see here is a naturally aspirated 12 cylinder, cylinder configuration is a compact W shape.’

‘Compact? Geezus, you mean it would be even bigger if it was a V?’


‘That is really strange, look at this, yes that, the fancy letters on the top, what does it say?

‘Wraith Spitfire!’

‘Start ‘er up, I want to see them flame throwers,’ said Damon enthusiastically,

Hal put the key into the ignition, turned, and nothing.

‘What the…’

Damon was behind the bank of computers and looked at them, stricken,

‘Guys quick! He’s back!’

Just then James came through the door carrying a lot of bags from which a delicious aroma was rising from, so irresistible was the urge to gorge themselves on the food that they completely forgot about what they had been talking about until they had their fill.

‘James, could you go check the car?’


‘You know routine maintenance and that sort of thing…’ he trailed off, James was looked at him in surprise and said;

‘You tried to start the car didn’t you, and it didn’t start? That’s interesting,’

He walked over to the car tried to start it, it did so instantly; with loud BWWRROOOOMMM!

As James revved the engine and flame’s shot out the dual exhausts before it settled to something that resembled a cat’s contented purr, he shut it off.

The other guys felt chills up their spines when they saw this, something just did

Not feel right at all.

‘Looks fine to me.’ Said James eyeing them suspiciously.


Serfy said...

LOL...ramen noodles. great.

Maybe you should make it a little clearer who is speaking when. I think it partly has to do with your formatting, but some parts you should add more "so-and-so said" stuff.

The car reminds me of Bond movies. =]

And on a slightly personal note, maybe you could tone down the language? It would be easier for me to read. A man doesn't need to curse to prove his masculinity.

Otherwise I like it. =]

foodcritic55 said...

they cursed?
I did not write a single curse in this part of my book, or did you mean the curse that almost blew his head apart? (I'm confused).
reminds you of the bond films? now what exactly reminds you of that?
hm, looks like I need to be a little more specific about whos talking.

bleachchidori said...

hi driftdog this is bleachchidori

Michael D. said...

It reminds me of this Bond film with Timothy Dalton in it; I don't remember specifically which one.

Michael D. said...

And and all of these cars remind me of Half Life 2: Episode 2.

sarah4 said...

I love the way you described the creation of the Wraith. Very mysterious...

I'm with Serfy on the language though. It’s just not necessary. : - )

foodcritic55 said...

people, I'm glad for your comments, but, WHAT LANGUAGE?
please be little more specific,
I am sorry if i'm being a little thick right now but what do you mean about what "language"?
bad or good?

Anonymous said...

I love that part in the beginning when you told us how everyone is. I could just imagine how they look, their character, and everything!


Cross the first sentence out.

And replace it with this:

Throughout the WHOLE story I could just imagine how they look, where everything is... all that stuff. (Yeah, no much of a difference from the first sentence... but... uh.... yeah.)

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

um... Oops? I put my last comment two times. :)

MissGlory said...

While I must agree with those stating one "doesn't need to curse to prove his masculinity," I think Mr. Foodcritic55 brings a stronger picture as to who Hal really is in stating that comment. In actuality, I found it hilarious.

**Please understand I'm not trying to start anything here... just stating my opinions. :)